Hooking-up* After 60 is Dr. Vieira’s 4th book and is an engaging book that pulls the reader into it with the humor and pathos of growing older. Her book is a snapshot of a whole new world of dating after 60. It is fun while at the same time giving a serious and realistic view of the facts. These true, wonderful stories will touch your heart and make you laugh!
THE SENILITY PRAYER
“Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.”
The anecdotes from Dr. Vieira’s own life and from the lives of other people add credence to the material and make the content come alive in a real and fascinating manner. Every imaginable aspect of deciding whether or not to date, to remarry or not, the hilarity of a first date, sex after 60 and community living is under scrutiny. The reader is given a humorous list of the contrasts between being young and old, between moving from one set of rules, expectations, and circumstances to a different set.
For example, instead of women having to remove hair from their underarms and legs, now that’s gone with age, and women have to remove hair from their chins. Whereas an individual might have wanted to lose five pounds in the past, now it’s fifteen. There’s a better chance of losing your keys now than your pounds. When you are younger, you hope your kids get married; when you are older, you hope they stay married. The whole list of “Maintenance Phase” operations is hilarious because it is so perfectly right-on.
Positive and the negative sides of each issue are given with real life anecdotes. Examples of how different people have handled their grief and their ability, or lack of ability, to move on. Examples, cartoons, and narrative insights all show the reader how different people experience being alone, and how differently they deal with the problems they face in confronting a new future. All the elements, including the jokes, drawings, and photos, weave together to create a clever connection to the process of getting older.
The reader will be interested in such insights as the fact that people who experience happy marriages are less likely to grieve long and have a quicker recovery than those whose marriages had been full of stress and turmoil. It almost seems paradoxical, and yet, it makes sense that the unhappiness carries over into the next part of a man’s or woman’s life. These kinds of observations, brought to the reader’s attention, have the potential to strike home in a gentle, prodding way, and could very well be the springboard for some deep-searching soul to spark a change of attitude or lay the seeds for creating a completely different kind of future.
A lot of excellent advice is given for those who feel stuck in their isolated lives. Moving into the dating scene after sixty begins a whole new amusing and poignant phase. The advice sections give solid tips to the reader, not only for the safety of the daters, but also offering practical means for making the most of dates. The many anecdotes add to the authenticity of the material, showing how individuals deal with real-life events, including choosing to Internet date or finding other ways to meet people. Bringing the foibles and mistakes of others to the reader’s attention creates a kind of encouragement and support, that the reader is not alone in the strange, scary, unpredictable world of dating.
The last chapter explores how to adapt to living with a new partner whose ways and habits may be intriguing or shocking. The statistics of people living together and the pros and cons of getting married or staying unmarried is smoothly weaved together. Family relationships, including children and grandchildren, can make a serious impact on budding new relationships. Some families encourage their single parents to date and find a new partner, while others are more possessive, offended by one parent’s apparent disloyalty to the original partner, and/or fearful of losing their parent’s babysitting routines, attention, money, gifts, and inheritances.
All the statistics, true stories, and relevant jokes and cartoons most appropriately and humorously reveal the process of aging and the issues and challenges we all must face if we live long enough!
What others say:
“You hit a lot of nails smack on the head. Your readers will see themselves in so many of your observations. And the “Jokies”s are priceless.”
– Dee Grace
“An insightful look into the lives of those who risked dating again. Dr. Vieira has woven her skill as a therapist with the truthful accounts of those who cared. The book provides interesting and enjoyable reading for all.”
— Barbara Shelton, Former Marriage, Family Therapist, Tennis Professional, Gemologist
“I learned so much and it really helped me understand a great deal that I didn’t before. I have never considered myself a “senior citizen” even though I am 69 years old and likely fit that category perfectly. At my stage in life I was one of those who had essentially “given up” on most everything. I believe (d) that I was just destined to go through life alone even though I thought I was content. Gaining the knowledge that nearly everyone in my age bracket feels very similarly about such taboo issues (for my generation) such as sex and money was not only enlightening but has allowed me to relax my thinking and most important of all, to relax and not have those lingering thoughts in the back of my mind. I give 100% credit to this book for once again allowing me to have it!”
— Ken Stuart, Owner of the Palisades Tennis Club, Newport Beach, CA
“Excellent book! I LOVED it! Being 64 years old, I found your book very informative and relative. The desires and passion for physical and emotional love is still needed even as we get older. The humor was right on and always a great way to approach a sensitive subject. The humor kept the reading “light” while educating and informing the reader at the same time. For me, it was a great balance. It was easy reading on a serious subject that affects a lot of us “oldies.””
— Debbie Kovaleski, Married, Mother of 3, Grandmother of 3
“I love this book. It is so informative and so engaging in the way it is written. It shows how different people experience the same things differently, and addresses just about every issue I could imagine being faced by people setting out to date after many years of being married. This book covers a wide range of aging issues in a short space and does it in a way that makes you laugh and feel compassion toward the outlooks and experiences of others who do not always fare so well in growing older.”
— Bill Greenleaf, Author, Professional Editor
You must read this! Don’t look back when going forward! This has been my philosophy having lost three husbands. This book has helped me cope.”
— Patricia Ellis, Movie Actor, Author, Screenwriter, Interior Designer
“I got a lot of laughs. I could identify. I read the entire book in an afternoon. Really good!”
— Mary Foster, Educational Specialist